Sunday, May 11, 2008

I have waited 17 LONG years for this............

I got a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY email from M!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still can't believe it. It was a good day, I got to sleep in, got some awesome things from my kids, went to see my mom and have lunch with her and then come home to relax for the remainder of the day. Of course, the first thing I did was check my email, NOTHING, to say that I was bummed would be putting it mildly. I was angry and hurt. I know I am not his mom, but the first Mother's Day since reunion and I was hoping that he would send something. So, I focused on relaxing and being thankful for how awesome my parented children are (and of course my hubby too). After bedtime for the kids I come to my computer, start chatting with a friend, check email and there it is!! An email from M, he is busy, focusing on school, hopes I am doing well, he is, and wanted to wish me a Happy Mother's Day and will write again soon and as always his ending "Love, M". I cried, I cried for the past Mother's Days that we missed together, for the future ones I hope to be included in and for the present one that I was so angry about. He completed a perfect Mother's Day for me, don't get me wrong, my kids and my hubby made this day awesome, but for those who know what it feels like to have a child missing from your life on Mother's Day, well you know, it's all good now! There is peace in my heart tonight!

I love that kid so much!!

Happy Mother's Day to you all!

Happy Mother's Day

What a bittersweet day this is for me. I have 4 really great kids right here with me, who love me unconditionally, who have already given me homemade gifts, a rose, a new pair of jammies to wear all day on Mother's Day (LOL, I might need to get dressed to go to mom's) and who will have more gifts of love when I wake in the morning, yet I am sitting here sad tonight.

So sad that I can't even get it into words. I think there is 1 thing that may make all the difference in how tomorrow goes and how unfair to my children is that? I will make an effort to be happy tomorrow, I know how much it means to them. But dammit, it's hard.

I am off for tonight, maybe more tomorrow. Happy Mother's Day to you all, no matter how you came to be one, even if you won't get to spend the day with your child, you deserve to be honored, take care of you today!