When you want to be there, but can't!

I have found out that M had an emergency appendectomy on Monday. Today I am having an emotional meltdown over it. I can't stop the tears, my chest feels tight and I am sick with worry. As most of you know I get what little info I have from his Myspace account, so most of the time I get no details. *sigh* I do not know if he is home, still in the hospital, did it rupture? did they get it in time before it caused major infection? SO many unanswered questions and 1 more reason I am pissed that we do not have open communication as agreed upon. I am not his everyday mom but let me tell you this mama is sick with worry and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I am frustrated, I am sad, I am pissed off. For now, I will pray that God will heal him, that he will be ok. I know it is just his appendix and it could be much worse, but when you can't be there to comfort the child you love it is a huge deal. I hurt for him today. I love him with all I have.