Sunday, October 5, 2008

It's October!

If you know me, you know how dreaded this month has been for 18 years. This year is no different! He will be 18! Where has the time gone? What will this year bring? Will he be more open to contact now? Will things stay exactly as they are? So many questions, so few answers!

I haven't emailed him in a few months, he didn't respond to the last email and I hate feeling as if I am intruding. So, I wait. I will wait until his birthday and then I will try again. Rejection sucks! I just wish we could "connect" and I don't feel like we have. I continue to remind myself of how busy he is, but is he? Or am I kidding myself? Am I not being honest with ME? Should I accept that he doesn't want anything from me? I never got that from his emails, but the lack of response makes me think otherwise.

I am still waiting on the pics his mom said she would send....LMAO.....As if I am surprised! She has said many times she would do things she has never done, why would this be any different?

First post in forever and I am bitchy! Sorry!

Hugs to all!


Michelle said...

First and foremost (((((Michelle)))).
I know that this month is hard for you and I'm sorry. You have every right to be bitchy. I hope that you and Mark connect, I really do. You are in my thoughts all the time and no matter what I'm here for you...I promise. I hate that our "sisterhood" seems to have fallen away somehow, but please know that you are always in my heart and I'm wishing the best for you and Mark. All my love to you and yours...Chel

Anonymous said...

Well if you can't be bitchy on a blog then where can you be bitchy dang it?? :)

I'll be thinking of you during this birthday month (it's mine too!)


Anonymous said...

Who said that you cannot be bitchy!! Heck, it is allowed and welcomed!!

Still in my bitch mode. 6 months and counting. I could always use the company.

Von said...

18 year old boys are like that, I never hear of an adopted kid who doesn't want to know.He knows where you are and maybe he feels some constraint because of his ap's, maybe it will be different when he's older.