This blog entry isn't about M, it is about Fred. The prayers are for him and for the friend he lost yesterday. Prayers are needed for 2 parents who will bury their dear son on Thursday, a life lost at the tender age of 15. My hurt aches tonight for my son, for all of his friends that are feeling the loss, for the parents of this child. I can't fathom having to deal with my child committing suicide, infact, it is killing me to think about it. Have I always said the right things? Do my kids know that no problem is to big to come to me with? Have I instilled in them the value of life? Do they know beyond a shadow of a doubt how much I love them and how devestating suicide is to those of us left behind in this world? I love my children, this is a huge fear! Unfortunately not a fear I think about daily, until this happened. Now, here I sit, worrying, not because I am not an awesome mom, I am, I know that. But did B's mom think the same thing? Did she think that it couldn't happen to her child? Were there signs she missed? He left a note, he failed a random drug test (all of our athletes have them randomly done) he was afraid what his parents would do to him, does my Fred think that? He passed his, but I am not naive enough to believe that it might not just be a failed random drug test, it could be the break up of a girlfriend, it could be being cut from the baseball team, a number of things push our kids of today to think that they can't handle life and for some, the answer is suicide, HOW do I keep it from being one of mine? I love them with all I have, I try to reiterate that I am always here and that no problem is to big that together as a family we can't get through, but is it enough?
Thursday will be a tough day for Fred, this is the first friend he has ever lost and it breaks my heart that he has lost him at 15. 15, too young...please keep everyone in your prayers!!