Titles! It seems that no matter what you call yourself in this world of adoption someone is pissy about it. There is much controversy right now about the term First mom. I prefer it, haven't always but I do now, why you ask? I was labeled a birthmom when I placed my son for adoption, a label I didn't ask for, a label I was given. Yes I gave birth to him, but before I gave birth I made decisions based on what was in the best interest of him, making sure that I stayed healthy, so he stayed healthy, making sure that when he made his arrival into this big world he would have every opportunity to be the best that he could be, even if that meant it wasn't with me. I made the FIRST parental decision for him and that was to find a family to raise him,love him and provide for him, I was told my love wasn't going to be enough. So I did what any caring mother would do for her child, I made a plan, a plan for him to be adopted by people who could do what I was told I couldn't. I was the FIRST to see him, I was the FIRST to love him, I was the FIRST to touch him, I was the FIRST to make a decision concerning him, does any of this mean that his mom is unimportant or 2nd best? Never! She has her own set of firsts with him, and I completely respect that, when I speak of her it is never with a qualifier, she is his MOM. It honestly saddens me that I need a qualifier of First mom, as I am his mom as well, but to make things simpler I do.
Birth mom doesn't work for me anymore and it never will again, No one can make me feel like the only thing I did for my child was give him life, I provided him with life and gave him the opportunity to have a life. I was the FIRST to make that happen.
To the adoptive parents out there that I have offended by this post, reach a little deeper within yourselves and find some security in your ability to be a parent, a mom, a dad to your child. What I want to call myself should have no affect on you if you are secure in your role as a parent. I do not wish to be called First mom because I think your second, or that I am better than you. It is because I was not an incubator, I did what I felt I had to do at that time out of PURE LOVE for my unborn child, my child for 9 months, I was his First Mom and I will always be his FIRST MOM, not his only, not his last, but his FIRST!!!!