Monday, July 16, 2007

Missing dad!

It has been 7 years today since my dad passed away. I miss him! We had a rough relationship, many years of anger and resentment coming from both sides. But 2 short years before he passed away, we made amends. I truly attribute the mending of our relationship to God. I believe he knew that I could not go on in this world after my dad passed away if things had not been "right" between us. I forgave him for his shortcomings and he forgave me for mine, I am thankful and I am blessed to have had the last 2 years of his life with him. My biggest regret in it all is that my children really never knew grandpa, and grandpa really never got to be the grandpa to them that he wanted to be. I do tell them stories about him from my younger days, I tell them that even though he didn't live long enough to make many memories, I know he loved them and is looking down on them with a smile.

My brother got married last Saturday for the first time, it was bittersweet, but Dad was missing from it. It was never discussed, but I know that my brother was thinking of him too. My dad wasn't invited to my wedding, at the time he was being hard-headed (hmm..wonder where I get it?) Funny how it wasn't until my brother's wedding that it hit me how stupid we were, how much we missed out on, how short life can be. He is gone now, and nothing I can do will bring him back, or change the past. What I can do is learn from our mistakes,I will do everything humanly possible to keep my relationship with my children the way God intended for it to be. I will keep the doors of communication open, I will cherish them, I will make memories and I will always be there!

Dad, I love you and I miss you!

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