Since I wrote and sent the email to M. I knew he wouldn't return a response very quickly, but now I am allowing myself to go places in my mind that I don't need to go. What if he just wanted to hear from me, he might not write back. What if he isn't handling it well? I don't want to be a source of pain for him, it was never my intentions. I know he got it, he has read it and he has logged into Myspace every morning before school since he got it, could he be composing a return email? Could he be re-reading it, trying to read something that isn't there? Did I say to much? Did I not say enough?? I was thinking yesterday that I wish I had invited him to be friends on Myspace but now I feel it is to late, I don't want to push him. I just wish he would give me something, and I guess he kinda did. He and K (his girlfriend) both changed their pics, so I got to see new ones, that was nice. But I want so badly to hear from him, for him to tell me he is ok, to tell me I haven't completely ruined his life by my dreams of being a part of it.
I need Starbucks, I need a freaking EMAIL from a 17 yr old kid who probably has not thought about me since he read it on Monday....*sigh*